Excerpt from a conversation I recently had with my Creator:

(Me):"I'm sorry I screwed up my life so badly."
"You've said that several times already."
"I know, but-"
"Look, I forgave you for everything the day My Son died. That forgiveness went into effect the day you accepted that fact. Here, have some blessings."
"Wow, these are great, but I don't know if I deserve them."
"Of course you don't. No one does. These can't be earned, they're Mine to give out as I choose. Here's a couple more."
"Oooh, I like this one, it's shiny."
"Yeah, and this one sparkles. Cool, no? Also, there's some stuff I want you to do for Me."
"Like what?"
"We'll talk about that as your life progresses."
"OK."
"OK, what?"
"Um...OK...sir?"
"No, goofball, I mean, what are you saying OK to?"
"Oh...well...'OK, I'll do the best I can to do all that stuff You want me to do.'"
"Good. Now tell me, who's the man?"
"You are!"
"Nope, I'm the Supreme Being, try again."
"Jesus?"
"Son of Man. One more guess."
"Is it....um...is it me?"
"That's right! You're the man! Who's My little soldier?"
"I am!"
"That's right...now give Us a smile...that's better. And remember, you're not alone."
"I know, I know, You're always with me."
"Well, yes, of course I am, but I was talking about my other children. Make sure you connect with them every now and again...encourage each other, stuff like that."
"Got it. Um...any chance you can tell me the meaning of life?"
"I will tell you over the course of yours."
"OK, but how about letting me in on the mystery of women."
"Well, to really go into the complexities of it, I'd have to extend your life by several centuries. We'll talk when you come Home."
"OK...and Lord?"
"Yeah?"
"I love You. Thanks for not letting me go."
"I love you too son. In My arms, you are always welcome."